Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy,
Looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,
His face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little sh*t, O'Conner," says Sean,
"He couldn't do that to you,
He must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had,
And a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself,
Didn't you have something in your hand?"
That I did," said Paddy.
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of
Beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
