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Topics - mike the bike
61
« on: March 02, 2017, 08:35:51 PM »
Two drunks are sitting at the bar near closing time when one of them says "lets go ice fishing".
"Great idea" says his mate.
About a half hour later they are walking out on the ice with all their fishing gear and one of them has a sledgehammer. The one with the hammer takes a full swing with it at the ice but it just bounces off.
Then a booming voice from overhead says "There are no fish under that ice".
The guy with the hammer asks his buddy, "Did you hear that?".
The other guy says "Yeah, but I don't see anyone".
The hammer man takes another swing and again the huge voice from above calls out
"Their are no fish under that ice!".
The drunk with the hammer looks up and loudly asks "God, is that you?".
The booming voice "No you idiot, this is the skating rink manager.
62
« on: January 21, 2017, 03:58:20 PM »
The following headlines were actually printed in newspapers. The irony in some of these is absolutely astonishing, hilariously funny (though sometimes awkward). Check them out:
- Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
- Miners Refuse to Work after Death
- Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
- Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
- Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
- British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
- Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
- Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
- War Dims Hope for Peace
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Eye Drops Off Shelf
- Teachers Strike Idle Kids
- Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Princess Diana Was Alive Hours Before She Died
63
« on: January 15, 2017, 04:54:09 PM »
After finding the swarf that scored my cam journals, I decided to whip the engine out, split the crankcases and make sure all is well. While I'm at it I may as well have some bits, like engine mountings, powder coated.
I noticed some people struggle with removing engines, tipping the bike over, scratching the paint etc, doing their back in, chipping their nails, so I'm sharing my knowledge and experience.
Before you remove the brake pedal, mark it to make alignment easier.
Firstly, make a table the same height as the frame tubes, 287mm if I remember correctly, but yours might be different because of the suspension so measure it. I used some offcuts of worktop.
Put the table alongside the frame on the starboard side.
Jack up the engine and put some sticks under it, this will allow the engine to slide over to the table and clear the mounting lugs.
Sit astride the bike and slide the engine over to the table.
As Mr Haynes often says, refitting is the reverse of stripping.
64
« on: December 26, 2016, 12:08:38 AM »
65
« on: December 26, 2016, 12:03:48 AM »
A warning to be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and police everywhere are out there checking on drivers. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many pints and then went onto the brandy. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint at the top of the road where they were pulling over cars and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
66
« on: December 26, 2016, 12:02:06 AM »
A man sat on a train opposite a stunning, gorgeous looking Thai girl.
He kept thinking to himself," please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection ".
But she did.
67
« on: December 15, 2016, 09:54:07 PM »
If her indoors is wondering what to get you for Christmas, put this in your basket http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/251605598055Don't know how good it is, I'll find out when I get it.
68
« on: December 08, 2016, 11:35:14 PM »
69
« on: December 06, 2016, 12:00:21 AM »
Re posted from another thread...
After gunking off the head and further cleaning in the dishwasher, I noticed the cam journals don't look too healthy. There's quite a bit of swarf had scored the ally, probably the left overs from the vapour blasting years ago.
Q1. is the head and rocker cover scrap?
Q2. Can I just carry on using is as it is?
Q3. Why didn't the oil filter clean all the crap out?
70
« on: November 27, 2016, 06:33:56 PM »
How much would I expect to pay to have my exhaust clamps rechromed? I know prices vary, as does quality but there's a set on fleabay at the mo going for £50. It may work out cheaper to buy those and flog my old ones.
71
« on: November 16, 2016, 02:18:19 PM »
How can you tell when a Gold Wing rider is having an affair?
His helmet doesn't match the passengers
72
« on: November 06, 2016, 04:00:01 PM »
I started on the strip down I've been promising for years, primarily to cure the oil leak from the head and to fit the newer/better camshaft and get some parts powdercoated.
As it's progressing, a few queries have emerged, which I hope the more knowledgeable forum members could shed some light on.
As I was removing the rocker cover, those 2 head nuts with the M6 female thread (that the rocker cover bolts attach to) were fairly loose. The one on the LH side was so loose that that special nut loosened off the head when I undid the rocker cover bolt.
As the leak is from the LH side, would that have caused the leak, rather than a warped head?
The other head securing nuts weren't over tight either. I did torque everything up when I built the engine, although I may have missed the aforementioned special nuts with the M6 threads
The other query is the spark plugs are very sooty. Could it be because, with the vibration, the choke has a tendency to turn itself on during a ride or do I need to faff about with the air mixture screws and, if so, what direction?
The float heights, clip positions, jet sizes are all standard, as Soichiro intended.
74
« on: September 24, 2016, 07:42:12 PM »
After restoring the 650 Katana it let me down a few times. It's probably an easy fix for an experienced motorbike mechanic with adequate workshop facilities but by then I was swearing at the bike as it had pissed me off too often and I had fallen out of love with it. I sold it on eBay last week and with the proceeds bought something else.
A K75. Just picked it up from Burnham on Sea, a lovely smooth comfortable 65 mile ride home on a bike I've always wanted.
75
« on: August 29, 2016, 10:20:33 PM »
The Salvation Army realised that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.
So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is
over two million pounds, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to
your community?
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, 'First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long painful illness, and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?'
Embarrassed, the rep mumbles, 'Uh.. No, I didn't know that.'
'Secondly,' says the lawyer, 'did it show that my brother, a disabled Veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?
The stricken rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again
'Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another that has learning disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?'
The humiliated rep, completely beaten, says, 'I'm so sorry. I had no idea.’
And the lawyer says, 'So, if I didn't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?’
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