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Topics - captaink
31
« on: December 21, 2015, 10:33:29 PM »
Roy, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake.
He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, 'How am I doing?'
The prostitute replies, 'Well Roy, old sailor, you're doing about three knots.'
'Three knots?' he asks. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?'
She says, ‘You’re knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back.
32
« on: December 21, 2015, 09:39:50 PM »
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the
other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
33
« on: December 20, 2015, 04:44:06 PM »
Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of
Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
" Is it common?"
Well, "It's Not Unusual."
Come on let's have a response !
34
« on: December 20, 2015, 04:37:23 PM »
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan."
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Ahmal."
35
« on: December 20, 2015, 04:25:39 PM »
A football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba, had so many women hanging around that he couldn't possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Bubba, "Just what the hell is your secret?"
So Bubba replies, "Well Coach, whenever I'm about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. This numbs it and I can screw'em forever!"
The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom. He heard his wife in the shower. Seeing a window of opportunity, he ripped off his clothes and started banging his dick on the dresser.
His wife stuck her head out of the shower and asked, "Is that you, Bubba?"
36
« on: December 20, 2015, 04:22:49 PM »
A buddy of mine asked me, what can I do to make the girls look at me when I go to the beach? I said put a potato in your swim trunks. He came back and said, now all the girls do look but they just sneer. I seen the problem right away and I told him, you have to put the potato in the front. 
37
« on: December 18, 2015, 06:53:30 PM »
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London
.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice !"
38
« on: December 15, 2015, 07:30:24 PM »
Whilst strolling around the Waterfront this morning about 11 am., I noticed a terrorist slip from the quayside and fall into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't get help he'd surely drown.
Being a responsible citizen, and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress, I informed the Police, the Ambulance Service, the Fire Dept and the Immigration Office.
It is now 4 p.m., he has drowned, and none of the authorities have yet responded.
I'm starting to think I wasted four stamps.
39
« on: October 06, 2015, 07:09:25 PM »
Gave the triton a run the other day before the rain hit.
Then a quick clean
40
« on: September 16, 2015, 09:43:12 PM »
Heres one of my bikes that I restored a few years ago. 1939 Rudge Special 500cc
Ok its not an age related colour that's for sure but I like it and was badgered into painting it this colour.
The bike was a back to bare metal strip down, and complete overhaul except the engine which had been rebuilt a couple of years prior to me getting it.
It runs a treat, will kick you back like stallion on steroids.
A heavy well designed bike that rides really nice.
Hope you like
Regards Keith
41
« on: September 04, 2015, 05:44:50 PM »
Hi, anywhere in the UK that rebuilds CB750 carbs ?
Any assistance appreciated
Regards
Keith
42
« on: August 28, 2015, 03:30:38 PM »
Hi, I have ordered some engine parts for my 750 Rickman but every time they seem to have trouble with the engine number
It's on the v5 as the original 1979 rickman engine
It's a black F2
Serial no. F2750E 2248782
Any thoughts as to confirming the age
43
« on: August 24, 2015, 05:58:35 PM »
Hi, I'm considering what forks would be best suitable for my CR 750 Replica build
They need to look in character with the period and be suitable for twin disks
Any suggestions appreciated !
44
« on: August 22, 2015, 11:19:53 AM »
Just completed my newly built commando using many parts from Matt at Colorado Norton Works in the USA
Billet fork tops,billet gauge pods,Corbin seat,Did chain and sprockets Brembo front disk kit and finished off with house of colour black base with Kandy green and gold stripes
Alton electric starter motor kit
45
« on: August 20, 2015, 07:26:33 AM »
Hi, on the main shaft within the clutch basket there's the soft insert, on trying to remove the basket the puller pushed it in about 1/4" inch.
What is it as I will need to replace it .
Cheers
Keith
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