Honda-SOHC

General => Humour => Topic started by: new oldun on September 28, 2023, 05:55:52 PM

Title: Dad joke
Post by: new oldun on September 28, 2023, 05:55:52 PM: The distance between the rungs on a ladder has been increased as people are generally getting taller.
It's known as climb it change.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverdaroo on September 28, 2023, 06:04:47 PM: Hell, that’s terrible

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Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Johnny4428 on September 28, 2023, 09:05:33 PM: 🤣🤣 Tim Vine springs to mind!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: McCabe-Thiele (Ted) on September 28, 2023, 09:12:03 PM: Brilliant 👍👍👍
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Rob550 on September 28, 2023, 11:41:19 PM: Well that joke reached dizzy heights
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Matt_Harrington on September 29, 2023, 09:29:23 AM: Groan! ;)
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: ka-ja on September 29, 2023, 09:57:01 AM: my days of "climbing the ladder" are long gone.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Athame57 on September 29, 2023, 11:34:16 AM: Climb it change is a tall story, I don't believe it. ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Oddjob on September 29, 2023, 12:18:42 PM: We should all stop now, we've rung the neck of that joke.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: new oldun on September 29, 2023, 03:00:15 PM: You guys are very punny :D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverda Dave on September 29, 2023, 09:13:45 PM: I fell off a 30ft extending ladder once, very painful. Lucky for me I was on the bottom rung😏.
I'll get my coat........
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverdaroo on September 29, 2023, 09:16:23 PM: Two elephants fall off a cliff……..baboom

I’m here all week, try the gammon

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Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Rozabikes Tim on September 29, 2023, 10:15:18 PM: Quote from: Laverdaroo on September 29, 2023, 09:16:23 PM
Two elephants fall off a cliff……..baboom

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No that a monkey with a red arse surely....
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Bryanj on September 30, 2023, 09:17:04 AM: Right turn Clyde
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverdaroo on October 01, 2023, 11:34:42 AM: still waiting on somebody actualy getting that! ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: McCabe-Thiele (Ted) on October 01, 2023, 12:53:38 PM: Needs to be obv for me Roo?
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverdaroo on October 01, 2023, 12:55:40 PM: Well if I said ‘two elephants fall off a cliff… thud, thud’. It wouldn’t work!

Tumbleweed………

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Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: McCabe-Thiele (Ted) on October 01, 2023, 01:04:33 PM: Quote from: Laverdaroo on October 01, 2023, 12:55:40 PM
Well if I said ‘two elephants fall off a cliff… thud, thud’. It wouldn’t work!

Tumbleweed………

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It's the Gammon bit Roo.🤔🤔🤔
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: new oldun on October 01, 2023, 08:50:34 PM: how bad do these jokes have to get before a moderator is called in? ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Athame57 on October 01, 2023, 09:30:13 PM: Its a trick! Two elephants falling off a cliff wouldn't make a sound hitting the deck, after all they would just glide away! ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: taysidedragon on October 03, 2023, 11:54:17 AM: Ladder jokes are a step too far! ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Rozabikes Tim on October 03, 2023, 05:54:50 PM: You know what really makes me throw up?

A dartboard on the ceiling. ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Johnny4428 on October 03, 2023, 05:59:35 PM: Decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, it was just gathering dust!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Nurse Julie on October 03, 2023, 06:30:46 PM: I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Athame57 on October 03, 2023, 07:22:38 PM: Quote from: Johnny4428 on October 03, 2023, 05:59:35 PM
Decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, it was just gathering dust!
Did any sucker buy it? ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Johnny4428 on October 03, 2023, 09:11:03 PM: 🤭🤭🤭
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverda Dave on October 03, 2023, 09:36:30 PM: 😂😂
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: McCabe-Thiele (Ted) on October 04, 2023, 12:16:26 PM: I still chuckle at Olaf's fringe joke even cleverer when English is not his first language.

I keep randomly shouting Broccoli and Cauliflower.

I think I may have Florets

No offence to anyone who has Touretts.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Multiman on October 04, 2023, 01:47:23 PM: Quote from: Nurse Julie on October 03, 2023, 06:30:46 PM
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!

There's a property maintenance man n van in Bristol with a company name proudly on his van "Beaver Maintenance".

And a chippy with " Joseph the Carpenter, Satisfied customers for 2000 years" on his van.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: MCTID on October 04, 2023, 01:57:30 PM: Right turn Clyde.........I have that bike that Clyde the Orang Utan used to ride !
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverdaroo on October 04, 2023, 06:57:19 PM: That’s awful

Had to go round the roundabout again to catch a piccy of this one in Basingstoke the other day.

There used to be a company down in Hants that was called BJ Champion……… his son now runs it and it’s sadly not funny any more. Think his first name is Dave

(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20231004/83425ec8ef316e74ee25299018f12815.jpg)

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Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Athame57 on October 04, 2023, 09:09:46 PM: I can't remember the name of the long since defunct bike breaker and motorcycle breakdown recovery/repair shop in Ladbroke Grove London, but their van had the 'motto' you bendum we mendum emblazoned on it! ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverdaroo on October 23, 2023, 11:03:39 PM: Found it………(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20231023/9c530e2666e01767eff7b332b6737b37.jpg)

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Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverda Dave on October 24, 2023, 05:45:07 AM: 🤣
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Oddjob on October 24, 2023, 07:14:45 AM: Clearly not named after his mother or he’d never have been born.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Orcade-Ian on October 24, 2023, 07:47:23 AM: Quote from: Athame57 on October 04, 2023, 09:09:46 PM
I can't remember the name of the long since defunct bike breaker and motorcycle breakdown recovery/repair shop in Ladbroke Grove London, but their van had the 'motto' you bendum we mendum emblazoned on it! ;D

On that theme, there used to be a vehicle body repairers in Hull and they had the slogan

'We take the dent out of accident'.

When we were in Lancashire there was a company who emptied septic tanks and they had a sign on the back of the truck which read 'There are no stools left in this vehicle overnight'

When Christine was a self employed Chiropodist I wanted her to call the business

'William the corn curer'

Ian
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: K2-K6 on October 24, 2023, 08:44:33 AM: ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: K2-K6 on October 24, 2023, 08:44:55 AM: Quote from: Oddjob on October 24, 2023, 07:14:45 AM
Clearly not named after his mother or he’d never have been born.

;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: ka-ja on October 24, 2023, 09:57:31 AM: A few years ago in the Wealdstone area I used to see the "IMPACT" school of motoring cars driving about town.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: McCabe-Thiele (Ted) on October 24, 2023, 05:31:43 PM: There was a driving school in Derby in the 1960's run by Brian & Mimi Hazard - the 'Hazard School of Motoring' as a student I did some weekend part time work as an instructor in dual control Vauxhall Viva (HA). In those days there were no minimum age limits.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Johnny4428 on October 24, 2023, 05:38:03 PM: Loving all these Ironic names. There was a dance school here teaching various types of dance and the couple of teachers that ran the school was Mr and Mrs Stiff.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverdaroo on October 24, 2023, 06:01:54 PM: My ex used to work with a lady called Dianne stuff. Always called herself Die. She got a mention on Harry Hill on the telly as she was an archaeologist

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Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverda Dave on October 24, 2023, 06:46:47 PM: I learnt to drive in the early 80’s with a driving school called 'The impact school of motoring'. When I signed up for lessons the owner told me he liked motorcyclists learning to drive cars as we tended not to crash them🙂. £4 a lesson weekdays, £4.50 weekends. MK1 Ford Fiesta's. One of my instructors used to give me a free lesson on Sundays if I drove him and his mates to and from the pub where he would smoke some resin!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: SteveD CB500K0 on October 24, 2023, 07:06:21 PM: Interesting Dave…

My driving instructor (1979, Escort Mkll)
complemented me on my observation and road sense. “You’re not a motorcyclist by any chance are you?”

Had to smile.

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Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: K2-K6 on October 24, 2023, 07:35:42 PM: Out of business now, but sign still there when I went past it "Jack The Stripper" with big tanks of caustic chemicals for removing paint etc from large furniture and house doors.

Over in Twickenham location, still with a brilliant trade type toolshop there, and bakery with giant sausage rolls ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Rozabikes Tim on October 24, 2023, 08:58:05 PM: Quote from: SteveD CB500K0 on October 24, 2023, 07:06:21 PM
Interesting Dave…

My driving instructor (1979, Escort Mkll)
complemented me on my observation and road sense. “You’re not a motorcyclist by any chance are you?”

Had to smile.

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So true!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Multiman on October 24, 2023, 10:52:54 PM: I used to drive back to uni through Moreton in the Marsh.
On the outskirts of the town on the right side was a scaffolders company sign "Spook Erection".
Sadly I don't think they're there any more.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Johnny4428 on October 25, 2023, 11:38:55 AM: Quote from: Multiman on October 24, 2023, 10:52:54 PM
I used to drive back to uni through Moreton in the Marsh.
On the outskirts of the town on the right side was a scaffolders company sign "Spook Erection".
Sadly I don't think they're there any more.

🤣🤣 appropriate this time of year!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Rozabikes Tim on October 25, 2023, 11:44:29 AM: Quote from: Multiman on October 24, 2023, 10:52:54 PM
I used to drive back to uni through Moreton in the Marsh.
On the outskirts of the town on the right side was a scaffolders company sign "Spook Erection".
Sadly I don't think they're there any more.

Nothing worse! ;D
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: new oldun on October 25, 2023, 09:56:06 PM: Time for another Dad joke:
I got an email today explaining how to read maps backwards.
It was spam.....
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverdaroo on October 26, 2023, 01:12:44 AM: Blimey

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Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Oddjob on October 26, 2023, 03:45:26 AM: When I think about all the sacrifices my mother and father made for me it makes me wish they hadn’t been satanists.
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Laverdaroo on October 26, 2023, 09:01:37 AM: Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: new oldun on November 19, 2023, 01:07:27 PM: I rode past my old childhood home recently and on a whim, I turned round and knocked on the door. I asked the people who lived there if they wouldn't mind if I had a look at my old bedroom. They said no and shut the front door on me.
Parents can be so cruel sometimes.....
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Matt_Harrington on November 19, 2023, 01:45:48 PM: Quote from: new oldun on November 19, 2023, 01:07:27 PM
I rode past my old childhood home recently and on a whim, I turned round and knocked on the door. I asked the people who lived there if they wouldn't mind if I had a look at my old bedroom. They said no and shut the front door on me.
Parents can be so cruel sometimes.....
Ha!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: MCTID on November 19, 2023, 02:05:01 PM: Learning to drive a car in the 60's my Instructor turned up one day and couldn't stop chuckling to himself. I asked why.......he'd just heard that the Lady who owned the local Female Only Driving School was out with a female pupil and was applying her make up in the vanity mirror when the pupil came to a roundabout and asked which way she should go......."Straight on" said the Instructor....so she did....right over the grass roundabout !
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Athame57 on November 19, 2023, 03:54:25 PM: Found out my girlfriend was a ghost. To be honest, I had my
suspicions the moment she walked through the door! :o
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: new oldun on November 19, 2023, 06:55:04 PM: A top Dad joke sir!!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: taysidedragon on December 03, 2023, 01:07:56 PM: My wife didn't believe me when I said that I could build a car out of spaghetti.

Should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: taysidedragon on December 11, 2023, 12:25:22 PM: Do drivers of electric cars listen to AC/DC, or something more current? 😂
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Rozabikes Tim on December 11, 2023, 01:13:29 PM: OHM my god. Thats shocking!
Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: magpie114 on December 11, 2023, 02:22:01 PM: It’s got potential

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Title: Re: Dad joke
Post by: Athame57 on December 11, 2023, 02:43:28 PM: Quote from: taysidedragon on December 03, 2023, 01:07:56 PM
My wife didn't believe me when I said that I could build a car out of spaghetti.
Should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
I couldn't resist putting that on BoatRaceBook! ;D