tax advice.

[ka-ja]

> A young woman walks into a chartered accountant’s office and tells him
> that she needs to file her tax returns.
>
> The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few
> questions.” He gets her name, address etc. and then asks, “What’s your
> occupation?”
>
> “I’m a prostitute,” she says.
>
> The accountant is taken aback and says, “That’s too gross. Let’s try
> to re-phrase that.”
>
> The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl.”
>
> “No, that still won’t work. Need something more acceptable.”
>
> They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite
> poultry farmer.”
>
> The accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do, with being
> a prostitute?”
>
> “Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”
>
> Chartered Accountant : “Brilliant!! ‘Poultry farmer’ it is! and
> agricultural income is tax-free.”

[Athame57]

Whore Whore Whore ! Hee Hee Hee! 

[MrDavo]

I'm an accountant, over the years  I have had a couple of female clients get in touch who were, er, selling gentleman's leisure services, and wanted to pay  tax in the normal way, as self-employed, as indeed they should.

With one case I just called it 'consultancy' and just put in basic income and expenses figures, without any further explanation, the other was interesting as I told it like it was, 'escort', and because she was honest about it she later got a mortgage based on the figures. What was interesting were the deductions, everything from baby oil to catsuits, with some eyebrow raisers I won't elaborate about in between..... 

[Athame57]

When I was selling Life assurance and pensions I was preparing a policy for a hooker, in the end we never closed a sale but I had her down as a 'seamstress'