Haynes Manual 'Translations'

[Bloggs]

Found I had this squirreled away, though I share it ..........

Handy Hints

For those of us that have ever used a Haynes Manual

On a similar theme to the correct usage of common tools, or those of us that have ever used a Haynes Manual
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with multigrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise.
Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles!
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey!
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That’ll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size).
Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that.s the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part.
Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".
Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn’t broken don’t fix it!
Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn’t broken... it’s about to be!
Haynes: One spanner rating.
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?
Haynes: Two-spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).
Haynes: Four-spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren’t you, you pleb!
Haynes: Five-spanner rating.
Translation: OK - but don’t expect us to ride it afterwards!!!
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "bugger" repeatedly under your breath.
Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it’s going to need a new one"!
Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!
Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that’s it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.
Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark pugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.
Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.
Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...
Haynes: Using a suitable drift...
Translation: The biggest nail in your toolbox isn’t a suitable drift!
Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an AA Card & Mobile Phone
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn’t moderate heat.
Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!

[K2-K6]

 

[ST1100]

 

[taysidedragon]

  Press and rotate to remove bulb leaves out, "find small pliers to remove broken glass from fingers, then search for plasters with blood running down hand" 😫

[McCabe-Thiele (Ted)]

Press and rotate to remove bulb leaves out, "find small pliers to remove broken glass from fingers, then search for plasters with blood running down hand" 😫

With new bulb fitted it still does not work.

[Otis]

Absolutely Brilliant and thank you so much for sharing. Its so true.

[Otis]

Having laughed at this, How nany of us have bought them?

I have - that's 1

[McCabe-Thiele (Ted)]

Having laughed at this, How nany of us have bought them?

I have - that's 1

Guilty - thats 2

[BigAl (Alan)]

I have quite a few...some of the wiring diagrams are very interesting...?

[Athame57]

 

[Otis]

I have quite a few...some of the wiring diagrams are very interesting...?

So keep the total going, how many?

[BigAl (Alan)]

18+...still learning.

[Bryanj]

Keep the manual dry and its uusefull for ligjtimg the BBQ!

[Laverda Dave]

 .

From bitter experience here's the Haynes explanation of how to remove the driven dowle pins in rocker shafts in a CB250RSA cam cover:

'Use thin long nose pliers to extract the pin. Alternatively, grind a slot into the top of the pin and use a screwdriver to turn the pin until it loosens'
Actual - Long nose pliers don't look at it even with lots of heat, grinding a slot in the top and using a screwdriver results in the pin snapping flush with the casting resulting in a very expensive trip to an engineer with a spark eroder to remove it.

[AshimotoK0]

.

From bitter experience here's the Haynes explanation of how to remove the driven dowle pins in rocker shafts in a CB250RSA cam cover:

'Use thin long nose pliers to extract the pin. Alternatively, grind a slot into the top of the pin and use a screwdriver to turn the pin until it loosens'
Actual - Long nose pliers don't look at it even with lots of heat, grinding a slot in the top and using a screwdriver results in the pin snapping flush with the casting resulting in a very expensive trip to an engineer with a spark eroder to remove it.

I read an interesting method of getting ONE of the pins out Dave.. you drill a hole through the cover facing the pin and knock it out with a drift though the hole than weld it up again . A bit drastic I know but those things are absolute b*stards to remove. Also on the valve seats the guy TIG welded a bar across the seat and put a bar through the guide and heated the head and tapped it out.

I think some of the early Haynes manuals were OK ... built my 1st 400/4 engine  in '85 using one..... OK ... glaring mistakes sometimes but the problem with the Honda ones is they brought them out based early examples  (sometimes having photo's of engines that were still in the pre-prod stage and never seem to update them much). They too have serious errors..as we all know.

In the Haynes manual for the CB250K they identified a problem with engine burning oil badly due to a cracked and broken baffle plate. Seen quite a few low mileage engines with that fault and NEVER seen it identified in any Honda manual or Service bulletin. Honda in there wisdom mounted that plate with crosshead screws on two opposite corners and staked over parts of the crankcase pillar part of the casting on the other two corners. Hence it was never available as a separate part ... you had to buy a crankcase bottom with it pre-fitted.