not my own work,but found on another forum
(Winston Churchill loved them)
They are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, & frequently humorous.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But, it's on my list
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many
is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of
emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit, the target
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in garage makes you a mechanic.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and
harder for me to find one
