Whats the crappest bike you've ever owned and why?

[bobv7]

Same thing happened to me some years back with a Suzuki Vitara in Tesco's carpark. Opened the door and thought, "That's funny I don't have a kids seat?". Don't have any kids either! Quietly closed the door and locked it again. Our car was a couple of spots away.

[royhall]

My dad had a Morris 1000 traveller when I was 16. We used to joyride in it when he was on night shifts after discovering that my FS1E key fitted the door and the ignition. Bad boys.

[mike the bike]

I passed my test in my Mum's Escort Mk1.  On Saturday's, it was my job to go the the chippy go get the family pies and chips.   It was only when I returned that I noticed I had driven back a similar Escort but not the same one.  I took it back but there was no parking space so I had go leave it a couple of streets away.

[bobv7]

Apparently in the 1970s at Newport Pagnell one of the Aston Martin  apprentices used to do the Friday chip run in one of these.

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[philward]

My first car was a 65 Ford Anglia 1200 (3 bearing 'Rubber' crank) - piston went on the M5 on my way to Swindon. Drove 50 miles with a cloud of smoke behind me. Next day, went to scrap yard in Swindon, got a piston, undone engine mounts, jacked engine up and got conrod and piston out from underneath (to save buying a head gasket) - all on my back in the snow! Happy days! Couldn't complain, only cost me 75 squid. It kept going until underneath got so bad it wasn't worth continuing welding it up. Saved me using Z1 in winter when I worked away.

[Tomb]

How the hell did this thread turn into a car discussion? 

[bobv7]

Logical progression.

1. Buy crap bike , learn how to fix it.

2. Sell it, buy crap car know how to fix it.

3. Get good job, buy good car.

4. Spare cash, buy crap bike, fix it.

Simple!

[matthewmosse]

I bought a busmar astral sidecar to go on my BMW outfit in place of a watsonian Palma. The busmar asteral is a massive caravan style thing from the 1950's made with a floor that looked like a country cottage door and the internal ply was recycled tea chests and looked from the nail holes on the alloy skin etc like it was original woodwork. The ignition key for the BMW bike I was fitting it to fitted the sidecar door perfectly.  None of other 100 odd keys I have in my box of odd keys fitted so it wasnt a case of any old screwdriver- not like Lucas tractor keys... I geuss that bike was fated to carry that chair.

[Allington (Steve)]

In 1974 (I think) bought a year old Norton Commando. No idea why, sold my beloved Yamaha 2-stroke and spent the next year inside many workshops and garages keeping a 750 Fastback (Combat engine) in one piece. The thing never broke down, it just "grenaded" itself for fun on a very regular basis. Pistons breaking up, it would go through crankshafts and bearings like my Yamaha went through 2-stroke oil, exhausts fell out of the head, carbs fell off of the head, center stand fell off at just about flat out and bounced over a car, the brakes came off a bobsleigh, the electrics were designed by a blind monkey, you would have needed Red Adair to stop it wee'ing oil like a 50 year old incontinent dumper, every possible nut, bolt, fastener and everything else would fall off on a weekly basis and I think the Japanese paid the British Bike industry to keep going just to catapult their own bikes into the world.

Unless you are a true biking masochist the Commando was a complete and utter horror story compared with what was available from the land of the rising sun at the time. Gave it away when it was about 2 years old to some idiot that came along and told me that it looked a lovely bike! The British bike industry up until around about the time of Hinkley had nothing at all to do with biking. It was just keeping the spanner industry going.

Funny enough if you ride a new Harley Davidson Sportster back to back with a 70's Commando now with your eyes closed (you might as well as both have no brakes) apart from the fact that the Harley starts easy and is quite reliable you would never tell which bike you are on. The riding experience is pretty much identical.

No idea how the Brit industry of that era managed to limp along for so long. The pleasure of giving the thing away outweighed the excitement of buying it!

[Bryanj]

Only thing that kept it going was nostalgia

[royhall]

You didn't like the commando then Steve. That Combat engine should never have been put into production.

[MrDavo]

Hey my Sportster has good brakes! I insisted on buying the ‘R’ model with twin front discs after doing a bike swap with a friend’s Dyna Glide. Following me on my Triumph Daytona 1000, his first words were ‘God you were taking those corners fast!’ I explained that was only because there weren’t any brakes to speak of, I had the lever back to the bar!

Same guy later lent me a Commando, I asked the passenger to put his feet down when he saw me squeeze the lever, I was joking but the brakes were pretty much useless. I remember the 750 was the MCN Machine of the Year at the same time as they were being recalled as the Combats were blowing their main bearings.

At one time if you had a Ford key you could get in any other Ford, but not necessarily free the ignition switch,  I once moved a Granada blocking me in to the middle of the road at a funny angle, as I couldn’t get the steering lock off. I locked it up again and pictured his face when he came back.

I also had a Vauxhall Victor with a sun floor and brakes on one side only, but hey, it cost £30.

[SumpMagnet]

Vauxhall perfected the holes in the floor so the driver could get a clear picture of the road surface conditions..... it was a safety measure. All those owners of cars with solid floors just had no idea what was going on under their wheels.

Jeez...I can't imagine something as big and heavy as a Dyna with a single disc.....unless said disc was teh size of a dustbin lid ( for the youngsters....look it up. It's what we had before wheelie bins and black bags!)

[royhall]

Also helped to let out the water that came in around the window and door rubbers.

[Allington (Steve)]

You didn't like the commando then Steve. That Combat engine should never have been put into production.

The combat engine was either a drunk pub bet or Honda paid them to use it. It was like going from a Massey Ferguson barn find to a Porsche when I picked up my 500 four straight after. The tolerances and manufacture quality of most Norton parts are a lot better now and I would actually have a Commando back now as a toy to play with (NOT to ride!) and I think the virus is going to make them much more affordable so you never know.

My clutch hand has still never recovered